RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . . — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
![“GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.” quote by Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/978/ambrose-bierce-140_accurate_goose-n-a-bird-that-supplies-quills-for_1832802.jpg)
![“FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.” quote by Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ba8/ambrose-bierce-140_cases_forma-pauperis-latin-in-the-character-of_2824857.jpg)
