CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“When he had ended, the holy hermit was a moment silent, then said: "My son, I have attended to thy story and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Halpin was pretty generally deprecated as an intellectual black sheep who was likely at any moment to disgrace the flock by bleating… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“TRUTH, n.: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. [T]he Past is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image