RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“NOVEL, n. A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of its economical application to some… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
