HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Beware of the compound adjective, beloved of the tyro and the 'poetess'.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“I is the first letter of the alphabet, the first word of the language, the first thought of the mind, the first… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Dictionary, n. A malevolent literacy device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“ Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
By _Abracadabra_ we signify An infinite number of things. 'Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why? And Whence? and Whither?… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
