RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“TRUTH, n.: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is taught.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Pessimism n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Cartesian,adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum- whereby he was pleased to suppose he… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
By _Abracadabra_ we signify An infinite number of things. 'Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why? And Whence? and Whither?… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
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