Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02d/george-carlin-155_believe_i-believe-myself-to-be-a-worthwhile-and_1294423.jpg)
