KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
