BONANZA * BONANZA * BONANZA The BONANZA IS HERE AGAIN!!! You don't wanna miss out the fun this season as several lucky… — Horla Copy Share Image
If you think of the people who are funny in your life, you'll note it's not because they tell jokes, it's because… — Anne Beatts Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says This day couldn't get any worse I immediately punch them in nose & ask Are you sure about that? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is… — Eric McCormack Copy Share Image
“Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke. — Robert Wyatt Copy Share Image
I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me… — Bob Woodward Copy Share Image
Somebody bought me a Snuggie as a joke gift. Haha, the joke's on you, I enjoy it. I toss and turn at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The sad thing is, I was discovering that you almost have to make a joke of being good to strangers. Up and… — Danny Wallace Copy Share Image
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home… — Emily Browning Copy Share Image
It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they've really become just… — Nigel Cole Copy Share Image
So many people joke that life with me - a professed lifelong penny pincher - must be tough. But [my husband] is… — Michelle Singletary Copy Share Image
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable… — Warwick Davis Copy Share Image
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Teacher: 'Why didn't you do your homework?' Student; 'Sorry, but Kanye West didn't let me finish...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself. — Peter J. Carroll Copy Share Image
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
We have a marriage of people of various cultures coming together. It's not a joke. It's real. — Stevie Wonder Copy Share Image
“Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead.” — David Crystal Copy Share Image
Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway — Nora Dunn Copy Share Image
For me, a tour show should have a narrative; it should have an arc. It shouldn't just be, "Here's one joke, here's… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties:… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might… — Nick Clooney Copy Share Image
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Great short stories and great jokes have a lot in common. Both depend on what communication-theorists sometimes called "exformation," which is a… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
I particularly scorn my fondness for paradox. I despise pessimism, narcissism, solipsism, truculence, word-play, and pusillanimity, my chiefer inclinations; loathe self-loathers ergo… — John Barth Copy Share Image
My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim's 'I Remember Sky.' It's probably the saddest song of all time; I… — Laura Benanti Copy Share Image
I knew at the time my haircut was pretty damn god-awful, so I was just hoping that I wasn't one of the… — David Cook Copy Share Image
![“So many people joke that life with me - a professed lifelong penny pincher - must be tough. But [my husband] is a great money manager. And he helps me let go of my fear of spending while still being frugal.” quote by Michelle Singletary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/261/michelle-singletary-8251_frugal_so-many-people-joke-that-life-with-me-a_2933475.jpg)
