And the look on her face as she opened the door Was like an old joke told by a friend. It'd taken… — Harry Chapin Copy Share Image
The reason of idleness and of crime is the deferring of our hopes. Whilst we are waiting, we beguile the time with… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes… — Will Smith Copy Share Image
if she had ordered me to throw myself down then, I would have done it! If she had said it only as… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I'm like, 'I want to go head-to-head with… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals,… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
English doctors have killed 3/4 of my friends & the joke is the remaining 1/4 go on recommending them, so odd is human nature. — Nancy Mitford Copy Share Image
I've always felt that a really good joke, a really good one-liner, is a really good line of poetry. It's imagistic, it's… — Kate Clinton Copy Share Image
Finnick:" Good to see you, Peeta." Peeta:" You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
I went to London a lot as a young designer because London was a major inspiration, not only for the clothes but… — Jean Paul Gaultier Copy Share Image
You've noticed that same joke told by two different people, once works, and the other time doesn't, simply because how the person… — Abbas Kiarostami Copy Share Image
I did get good enough to get on HBO's Young Comedians Special, but I certainly wasn't the person who got launched off… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
Youre so ugly, when you were born, the doctor said Wheres the baby? Youre so ugly, when you were born, your parents… — Curly Copy Share Image
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come… — Jokes4all Copy Share Image
Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralyzed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures, and reduced… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
The Muppets are no joke. They are for real. Each one has an agent and manager and all that stuff. I'm not… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If we have injured someone, giving him the opportunity to make a joke about us is often enough to provide him personal… — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect… — Billy Gardell Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
“Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I used to think it was so funny that plankton was married to his computer, but now I realized that's probably my… — Sponge Bob Copy Share Image
The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood,… — Craig McCracken Copy Share Image
Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke. — Buzz Aldrin Copy Share Image
“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You shouldn’t make jokes about these things,” she said. “Science doesn’t have all the answers, you know.” “It’s got all the best… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke. — Arthur Miller Copy Share Image
I would kill to be on 'Dexter,' and I would double kill to be on 'True Blood.' I would pay them to… — Callie Thorne Copy Share Image
Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time.… — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark. — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
I don't see much point in doing things for a pure joke. Every now and then you need a joke, but not… — A. S. Byatt Copy Share Image
My doctor said to me afterwards, 'When you were ill you behaved like a true philosopher. Every time you came to yourself… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
Adrienne [ Shelly] had 100 per cent control over this movie [ Waitress] as a director. She didn't just write it, direct… — Keri Russell Copy Share Image
I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
the whole point of muck-raking, apart from all the jokes, is to try to do something about what you've been writing about.… — Jessica Mitford Copy Share Image