When I was younger, I used humour as a tool to avoid getting too serious with people - if there was deep… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more… — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
All of my jokes were about not being able to meet anybody. I didn't have any insight into anything - even my… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share Image
You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks.… — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
I love belts. My husband always jokes with me, because he always calls me out on my belts, he's always like, "Just… — Olivia Palermo Copy Share Image
according to the old joke, married people are often like little boys bathing, who cry with chattering teeth to the boys on… — Dinah Maria Murlock Craik Copy Share Image
On stage you look much larger than you are. You can have subtle changes of timing; how you place a punch line… — Sylvester McCoy Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
I remember talking to, 40 years ago, one of the leading people in the government who was involved in arms control, pressing… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
“If you’re not interested in me, just tell me. You don’t have to ruin me for all women.” “I’m more about action… — K.A. Tucker Copy Share Image
I remember the old joke, while women are deciding which schools the kids go to, where you're going to live, how the… — Debra Winger Copy Share Image
You are doing something over here and over there someone is telling you a joke, or giving you an important piece of… — Michael Ondaatje Copy Share Image
I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a… — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There have been so many jokes, about sex and relationships on the "Brady Bunch" set. For some reason, tabloids picked up on… — Maureen McCormick Copy Share Image
The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Boy: I would do anything for you, Girl: Like what? Boy: Anything Girl: Jump off the bridge, Boy: Bye, mom is calling — Oksana Serdyuk Copy Share Image
I got kind of scared when I thought they wanted me to do something... I didn't want to be naked on the… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media. — Ann Coulter Copy Share Image
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment.… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own material if you've seen videos I've done. I… — Laura Benanti Copy Share Image
Every time I get happy the Nana-hex comes through. Birds turn into plumber's tools, a sonnet turns into a dirty joke, a… — Anne Sexton Copy Share Image
Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
There were always jokes about Hillary Clinton channeling Eleanor Roosevelt, but Eleanor Roosevelt was really instrumental at the UN, and would want… — Madeleine Albright Copy Share Image
When you have a cast and crew of people who make it light hearted and crack jokes, and break treats, and understand… — Jill Scott Copy Share Image
We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
So size does matter from what I heard only 3.5 inches to make a girl happy... Your probably like WTF are you… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one… — Mark Steyn Copy Share Image
Jokes about my surname aren't a big deal at all. In fact, that's what jokes are meant for - you laugh and… — Manushi Chhillar Copy Share Image
It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than… — Malcolm Muggeridge Copy Share Image
Maybe it's because I have too much pride or self-respect, but I thought, 'Why does a guy who has thinning hair and… — Paul Giamatti Copy Share Image
I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“But very quickly they all became grave again: for, as you know, there is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes… — C.S. Lewis Copy Share Image
Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better… — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment... — Robert Paul Copy Share Image
