I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade,… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
How you speak and the words you use tell much about the image you choose to portray. Use language to build and… — Thomas S. Monson Copy Share Image
I certainly had qualms about writing my piece in the first place, since I knew I couldn't express my disdain for many… — Kevin Roose Copy Share Image
But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like… — Godfrey Copy Share Image
I think you need to have the guts to not use comedy. Often, the people that work in comedy use a joke… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Who else had one of those pens with a five colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once? — Nishant Grover Copy Share Image
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that let's you know… — Marilyn Manson Copy Share Image
The term comics long ago became obsolete and inaccurate. It merely defined the content of the early joke-based comical strips. Sequential Art… — Will Eisner Copy Share Image
I was a bit of a show-off at school. I told jokes a lot because I wanted to have friends. — Ainsley Harriott Copy Share Image
And there's wordplay and there's rhythms and you have to be able to get the poetry out of it. You have to… — Quentin Tarantino Copy Share Image
My 6 year old niece just told me she loved me, then pointed at chocolates and asked me to buy one. ALL… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Son asks his father: Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? Father answers: Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes.… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Girls: Practice makes perfect! Boys: But nobody is perfect! So, why do we need to practice?! — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
What makes our marriage holy, what makes it "set apart" and sacramental, isn't the marriage certificate filed away in the basement or… — Rachel Held Evans Copy Share Image
I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so… — J. Cole Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
“The historian Meike Wöhlert has analyzed and compared the judgments rendered by courts responsible for malicious acts of treason in five cities.… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I think I have a reputation for being really serious. In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball.… — Darren Hayes Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the… — Jo Coudert Copy Share Image
I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
I always put these pert jackanapeses out of countenance by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
No wonder we cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke: that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
If mankind is naturally good, he is sure going against his nature more and more of the time. It sounds like a… — Herbert Gold Copy Share Image
![“Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? [...] The…” quote by George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cee/george-eliot-84_average_can-anything-be-more-disgusting-than-to_2808257.jpg)
