Children Quote by Anonymous

When a telemarketer calls, give the phone to the nearest child and tell them it's Santa on the phone!

— Anonymous

The biggest myth about fatherhood that you get given a direct phone number to talk to Santa and tell him how your kid has…

— Chris Ramsey

I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer…

— Bill Engvall

I never saw a department store Santa as a kid. My mother was afraid to take me.

— Terry Zwigoff

As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I…

— Augusten Burroughs

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

— Scott Dikkers

Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or…

— David Letterman

“You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?" "I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate…

— Lia Habel

It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there's Santa, but it's also just an odd feeling…

— Tig Notaro

“We half-eat cookies and drink the milk, we leave notes, all so kids will believe in something that isn’t true. Kids try their best…

— Thomm Quackenbush

Santa was a fake.

— Stephen Lawrence

Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the…

— Chris Van Allsburg