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Portrait of Scott Dikkers

Scott Dikkers

(1965) Comedy Writer United States

9 quotes in 70 categories

Scott Dikkers is a comedy writer from the United States, best known for Destined for destiny.

Quick Facts About Scott Dikkers

Born: March 1, 1965
Nationality: United States
Profession: Comedy Writer
Notable works: Destined for destiny

About Scott Dikkers

Scott Dikkers is an American comedy writer and entrepreneur. As a former co-owner of The Onion, he was the publication's longest-serving editor-in-chief, holding the position from 1988–1999 and again from 2005–2008. He also served as the satire newspaper's General Manager and Vice President of Creative Development from 2012–2014.

Biography source: Wikipedia

Quotes by Scott Dikkers

You have sexual tendencies that are not normal, and you should be ashamed of them.

Ashamed

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A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.

Atheism

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If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe…

Boss

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Dear God, I understand that if I fail to believe in you, I'll burn in hell for eternity. Thanks for being such…

Believe

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I respect your right to hold your religious beliefs, and if they help you, I think that's great. I would, however, like…

Belief

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That special bond you think you have with your pet is imaginary. As long as it has food and water, you could…

Animal

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Your pet is not your friend. It is your hostage.

Friendship

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Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing…

Adulthood

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Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.

Adultery

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