I have never fit into this town, this marriage, this skin. I am the child who was picked last to play tag;… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you are chatting with someone you like but triangle disturb it; until you type some superstitious word, and they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We all have been in love and all fell out of love... I rather fall in shit then fall in love again... — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
This is why Jessica Biel is a successful actress: because, despite the punchlines, you know how to tell a joke. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Getting up close and personal with sharks doesn't make you a wildlife enthusiast--it makes you dinner. An Austrian tourist wanted… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed… — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
I love mixing humor and terror, or humor and exhaustion, or even humor and despair. I'm dealing right now with a loved… — Gail Simone Copy Share Image
Dear Human; You Get Angry At Me, If I wake you up... You Also Get Angry, If I don't..!! What The Hell… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything,… — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
I recently realized that I'm gender-fluid - I didn't even know that was a term until recently - but I have a… — Pandora Boxx Copy Share Image
I'm so excited. Jay Leno is on the show tonight. He brought some really funny jokes and some great stories. Although I'm… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke. — John Waters Copy Share Image
It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I really like the animated film process. It's kind of like doing a play, because you can experiment with it, rewrite it,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute,… — Ronnie Barker Copy Share Image
Job interview: Please tell us why youd love to work for us? ME: I need money :) — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I'm really sick of people treating me like I am a joke, next time someone play's games they're gonna get chocked. — Amanda Copy Share Image
My parents left Iran in 1979 and moved to France and then moved to the U.S. My brother was born in France… — Rostam Batmanglij Copy Share Image
I just heard the latest joke about my hair: 'Do you know what that is on her head? It's a steering wheel… — Yulia Tymoshenko Copy Share Image
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It… — Evan Dando Copy Share Image
I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said your… — Superman Copy Share Image
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in… — Carson Daly Copy Share Image
Wonder Showzen was one of the first shows that realized each sketch, each segment is essentially one joke, and, once you know… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
Many gamblers think they're being singled out by fate as a target for cruel jokes. They feel they alone in all the… — Mike Caro Copy Share Image
“Shakespeare drew a map of the human mind as clearly as Newton mapped the heavens. Wht is one considered science and the… — Sebastian Faulks Copy Share Image
I one hundred percent recognize that comedy is a more narcissistic profession and that I cannot directly improve people's lives the way… — Negin Farsad Copy Share Image
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
