Why do single girls take advice from other single girls? That's like ray charles giving stevie wonder driving directions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke. — Janet Jackson Copy Share Image
'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put… — Ziggy Marley Copy Share Image
I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
That's what happens with most comedies. If you watch 10 minutes and there's no joke, then you're disappointed because you're expecting jokes.… — Quentin Dupieux Copy Share Image
I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
He took a long drink, then grimaced. “I do not have a drinking problem,” he announced, his voice needlessly loud. “I have… — John Green Copy Share Image
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want… — Boy George Copy Share Image
The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that. — Allen Toussaint Copy Share Image
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I am fun. I do have a good time. I have a good heart. I'm not all jokes. I'm a pretty serious… — Heidi Montag Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Watching an adaptation of your novel can be a violent experience: seeing your old jokes suddenly thrust at you can be alarming.… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, 'Thirty-five children is enough for… — Gracie Allen Copy Share Image
You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
I saw a man at the beach screaming, 'Help, shark, help!' I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
