I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I would like, with the sun shining through the window on a crisp early-autumnal mid-morning, with a sufficiency of Monster Cappucino flowing… — Robert Fripp Copy Share Image
I think most of the actors that I know that I think are good are kind of funny people. There's just something… — Clark Gregg Copy Share Image
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter. — Tahar Ben Jelloun Copy Share Image
Have you ever lived in the suburbs? It's sterile. It's nothing. It's wasting your life, and people do not wish to waste… — Ed Koch Copy Share Image
If the clockwork universe equated the human body with the mechanics of the clock, the digital universe now equates human consciousness with… — Douglas Rushkoff Copy Share Image
[John Larroquette] is very generous as the star of a show. He always made sure that if we had a joke that… — Julie Benz Copy Share Image
I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I wonder Pa went so easy. I wonder Grampa didn' kill nobody. Nobody never tol' Grampa where to put his feet. An'… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A lot of the turning points happen in high school and in college, and it defines a lot of how you see… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long. — Patience Jr Kibabatoko Copy Share Image
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they… — Agnes Varda Copy Share Image
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
I just tell jokes, and I think a lot of people take it too seriously. It's not that I don't have things… — Aaron McGruder Copy Share Image
For April Fools Day, someone played a really cruel joke on me. They stole ALL my mirrors and I had to go… — James Franco Copy Share Image
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
You're basically on set to help the production. You're helping the actors make it make sense, or maybe you wrote something that… — Katie Dippold Copy Share Image
The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“[John Larroquette] is very generous as the star of a show. He always made sure that if we had a joke that didn't work or something, he'd fight for the other actors.” quote by Julie Benz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a13/julie-benz-7666_actors_john-larroquette-is-very-generous-as-the_1885158.jpg)
