The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch. — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
I'm one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else's jokes! — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Ever you miss me, never you cry. For a drop of tear in your eyes, is a day less in my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Arguing with a teenager is like wrestling in the mud with a pig...sooner or later you realise that they enjoy it! — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!. — Rob Zombie Copy Share Image
I like the idea of building the suspense and taking it all the way up to the very last second with the… — Corey Feldman Copy Share Image
What are they waiting to see?" Sam follows my gaze and I shrug. "Who knows? You could always do a dance, or… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I… — RuPaul Copy Share Image
It is not the most distinguished achievements that men's virtues or vices may be best discovered; but very often an action of… — Plutarch Copy Share Image
If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be… — Michael J. Fox Copy Share Image
The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If I just do everything the opposite of what my dad did, I think that will make things pretty easy. I can… — Derrick Rose Copy Share Image
I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg… — Studs Terkel Copy Share Image
I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't… — John Roberts Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke. — Rachel Perry Copy Share Image
I'm just not the outgoing bubble of energy. But if I know you, it's different. Practical jokes. Have fun. I'm not looking… — Eric Dickerson Copy Share Image
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much — Don Adams Copy Share Image
Michael Gambon telling filthy jokes and Alan Rickman talking about scrambled eggs, just really normal things, and yet they're these amazingly, superb,… — Matthew Lewis Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
