The joke in aviation is, 'If you want to make a million, you'd better start with £10m.' — Bruce Dickinson Copy Share Image
I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I don't like the pressure to try to tell the best jokes. I'm not good at jokes. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My background is part of my comedy. Your experiences are where the jokes come from. — Charlie Murphy Copy Share Image
Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All of comedy at some level is trial-and-error, whether it's a stand-up trying out jokes or a comedy show trying stories. — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny. — Michael Caine Copy Share Image
Parents vary in their sense of what would be suitable repayment for creating, sustaining, and tolerating you all those years, andwhat circumstances… — Frank Pittman Copy Share Image
We're all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do… — Joshua Foer Copy Share Image
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Mother, where do babies come from?… — Kevin Copy Share Image
My mom was my English teacher in high school. So to be able to bend the rules and be the class clown… — Paul Rust Copy Share Image
Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you… — Tariq Ramadan Copy Share Image
When we were trying to find the woman to play Maura Isles, it was a no-brainer when Sasha came in. We just… — Angie Harmon Copy Share Image
