Jokes Quote by Frank Carson Download Open image “Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.” — Frank Carson ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.2 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Jokes Racist
When I worked at The Independent newspaper, I had colleagues who would laugh and say that whenever they picked up the phone to my… — Maggie O'Farrell Copy Share Image
That's the Irish all over -- they treat a joke as a serious thing and a serious thing as a joke. — Sean O'Casey Copy Share Image
For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. "I am my own grandpa" and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins. — Ishmael Reed Copy Share
I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes. — Saoirse Ronan Copy Share Image
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to… — Nick Clooney Copy Share Image
I think the Irish humour is unique, there are lots of aspects to it. The Irish are quick witted, and their banter is really… — Dylan Llewellyn Copy Share Image
I can't think of anything you might say about Irish people that is absolutely true. — Anne Enright Copy Share Image
The Irish are the damnedest race. They put so much emphasis on so many wrong things. — Margaret Mitchell Copy Share Image
I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours."… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror." — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican Senate candidates… — Matthew Continetti Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
“A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight. "Sure," said the farmer, "My wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they're off to college, and I'm all by… — Anonymous Copy Share
I was interested in all kinds of things, whether it be Avatar, Mad Men, Troy, 300, Battlestar Gallactica, or the poems of Horace and Sappho. I always joke about this to my students, who can't quite wrap their mind around the fact that you can have a Ph.D in classics, but not do that full time. I never wanted to… — Daniel Mendelsohn Copy Share
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
Worship isn't destructive, Martin. I know that. I don't. I only know it's the core of his life. What else has he got? He can hardly read. He knows no physics or engineering to make to world real for him. No paintings to show him how others have enjoyed it. No music except television jingles. No history except tales from… — Peter Shaffer Copy Share
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
