“I decided then and there never to become someone who told jokes when explanations were impossible.” — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes. — Rainn Wilson Copy Share Image
Actually, I've been making jokes about the little bones in my hands; they can't handle my own power. — Raquel Pennington Copy Share Image
I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is. — Tahj Mowry Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is. — Dick Dale Copy Share Image
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone… — Owen Hart Copy Share Image
I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the… — Lee Trevino Copy Share Image
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a… — Dorothy Richardson Copy Share Image
Earlier I received a phone call from a PPI Telemarketer. So I told my 3 year old son that Santa Claus was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke,… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
“I be dog if hit don't look like sometimes that when a fellow sets out to play a joke, hit ain't another… — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
It's hard to describe to people how terrible it was when you could only watch cartoons at a certain time in your… — Jon Hamm Copy Share Image
A human being having a full emotional conversation with a dog is funny, innately. It's one of those things where you get… — Will Smith Copy Share Image
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I always thought it was important to overdeliver, and when I got one of my first jobs, writing jokes for Garry Shandling… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
Strider's bedroom "The only thing hanging on the wall that wasn't a weapon was the portrait just over the bed. No. Not… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“In a theater, it happened that a fire started offstage. The clown came out to tell the audience. They thought it was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
