I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
There is no 'magic water' that you can rub on a script to make the jokes funnier. — Graham Linehan Copy Share Image
Because, as we are told—a sad old joke, too— Ghosts, like the ladies, never speak till spoke to. — Bill Vaughan Copy Share Image
“in this society, things you’d think could only be bad jokes actually happen all the time.” — Banana Yoshimoto Copy Share Image
I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod? — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes… — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
Love is like a storm.It is calm and soothing.It is natural and essential.It is powerful and fulfilling and nothing can get in… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember… — Chris Cuomo Copy Share Image
“Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the… — Christina Romer Copy Share Image
I can't cuss and tell jokes the rest of my life. I gotta say something meaningful. I gotta give something back to… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
Prof: what is ethics? student juan; hmmm ethics are the cousin of ducks , what can you say sir? Prof: very good… — Isay Copy Share Image
You get sick of jokes, you know. Either I do them on TV, and then you worry, like, "Oh, everyone's gonna see… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Everything you see comes from inside. People don't see it but inside the dressing room we laugh and joke a lot so… — Luis Suarez Copy Share Image
People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
Basically I made her [ Sara Pocock] listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
For what my generation did and went through and so forth, and what these glamour boys earn for what little they play,… — Chuck Bednarik Copy Share Image
I'm a bug on acting, which distinguishes Second City from a lot of other revues. It comes from the character, the behavior,… — Bernard Sahlins Copy Share Image
Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell… — Bruce Bruce Copy Share Image
![“I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"” quote by Chris Cuomo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/bed/chris-cuomo-46540_always-loved-you_i-ve-always-been-a-fan-at-home-that-s-th_2136028.jpg)
![“Basically I made her [ Sara Pocock] listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I was talking about the art from...if you look at the art from George Clinton albums there are two or three artists he worked with...I made her listen to my album too so all the images…” quote by Baron Vaughn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ace/baron-vaughn-6620_albums_basically-i-made-her-sara-pocock-listen_41518.jpg)
