A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
It would drive the photographers crazy because I would giggle and tell jokes. I was gregarious, and looking back, I realize I… — Tracee Ellis Ross Copy Share Image
I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. — Ludwig Wittgenstein Copy Share Image
Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of… — Josh Peck Copy Share Image
I don't read all the junk. I joke if I did, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. But, Sometimes… — Gretchen Carlson Copy Share Image
I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing." "You can't! You're the stable one!" Xavier laughed and I realized his… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
When I first became famous in the United Kingdom it was helpful because it meant there wasn't a spite of 'this bloke's… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
Jokes are a lot about meaning. I think if we understand what jokes mean and why they work, we'd understand everything else.… — John Lloyd Copy Share Image
There were some particular themes that I knew I wanted to hit, and when I got deeper into the project I found… — Moshe Kasher Copy Share Image
I'm excited for the new crop of gay comics who have never been closeted, who never thought that they needed to put… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
And what if we’d been utterly open? Made jokes about the first wife? What if we’d been that kind of family? Well,… — Sue Miller Copy Share Image
When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon. — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
An old paleontological in joke proclaims that mammalian evolution is a tale told by teeth mating to produce slightly altered descendant teeth. — Stephen Jay Gould Copy Share Image
