The joke isn't too soon, the tragedy is too late. — John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic Copy Share Image
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline. — Jack Ketchum Copy Share Image
You can make dark, sinister, weird jokes without being deeply offensive. — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
“No, we’re the two old Muppets on the balcony, cracking lame jokes.” — Kim Stanley Robinson Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes during all those laughs, long talks, silly little fights and inside jokes, I fell in love… — Ritu Copy Share Image
We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a… — Brian P. Cleary Copy Share Image
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: 1 For… — Vinesh Copy Share Image
The government passed more laws to protect women from dirty jokes than to protect men from death by faulty rafters at a… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
I was an athlete growing up and I miss that. I miss hanging out with dudes and making raunchy jokes and telling… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
Girl:How Much Do you Love me? Boy: My heart is a mobile and u r its SIM. Girl:Ooh God... I m Soo… — DEV Copy Share Image
Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes… — Ann Coulter Copy Share Image
Speaking for myself, I try to go out there on the stage and make jokes with people, so I'm not really thinking… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
Vegas has the Whitman's Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You… — Hal Sparks Copy Share Image
Growing up the son of a director has made me very aware of the various turns that a directing career can take.… — Jason Reitman Copy Share Image
We have come to expect campaigns to be mean and stupid and politicians to be unresponsive, self-seeking and for sale to the… — Donella Meadows Copy Share Image
I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Querida, it's alright," he said. "No one has hurt me in years." "Hey, you're supposed to be my brother," I said, trying… — L.A. Weatherly Copy Share Image
Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
Europeans hate the way Americans talk. They think we're loud and uncouth and they don't like our jokes, except for Michael Moore.… — Denis Boyles Copy Share Image
![“Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? [...] The…” quote by George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cee/george-eliot-84_average_can-anything-be-more-disgusting-than-to_2808257.jpg)
