I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Fat Chicks always talking bout sitting on somebody's Face… Bitch that's Attempted Murder! — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
It must be a cruel joke of nature that people who are so bad for us, make us feel so good. — Harrison Daniel Copy Share Image
There is not a racist bone in my dad's body. He doesn't even laugh at distasteful jokes. — Alan Wilson Copy Share Image
When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path… — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
“Shakespeare drew a map of the human mind as clearly as Newton mapped the heavens. Wht is one considered science and the… — Sebastian Faulks Copy Share Image
I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm not used to be the adult. I'm not very good at being the adult. To some regard, I wanted to just… — Jamie Linden Copy Share Image
I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he… — Garry Marshall Copy Share Image
But television, when I was doing it, was all about scoring. You had to make these jokes bang, do whatever you could… — Tom Hanks Copy Share Image
I wasn't really that good at being a musician. And then I tried being a standup. I was an actor. I was… — Garry Marshall Copy Share Image
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
There is a grandeur in the uniformity of the mass. When a fashion, a dance, a song, a slogan or a joke… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
“There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
Somebody who opposes Trump is wound so tight, they're not funny people anyway, that they don't get his humor. They really believe… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
With Congress and the S.E.C. so heavily peopled by lawyers, and with lawyers having been so heavily involved in drafting financial disclosure… — Charlie Munger Copy Share Image
Honey, Kate is not going to die sooner because you have one more glass of mine, or because you stay overnight in… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
