I don't say things straight into the other person's face. I kind of like to make a joke or a remark and… — Christoph Waltz Copy Share Image
Somebody who opposes Trump is wound so tight, they're not funny people anyway, that they don't get his humor. They really believe… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? Omg, donut seeds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I began writing books after speaking for several years and I realize that when you have a written book people think that… — Brian Tracy Copy Share Image
I’m assuming you’re as mystified by this as the rest of us, Rasputin. No. I’m not. I have been planning to destroy… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Brian Posehn went up at 4:45 in the morning. And he gets lost at a certain point. I don't know if we… — B. J. Porter Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. — Jokes About Chuck Norris Copy Share Image
English had hit upon a splendid joke. The intended to catch me or to bring me down. — Manfred von Richthofen Copy Share Image
In the Senate race I went for some candidate endorsement meetings and three people there asked me: Do you go to a… — Angela Alioto Copy Share Image
He's a very funny and very nice man. When you read the script, you want to stick with it. But when you're… — Raven-Symone Copy Share Image
What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me… — Chris D'Elia Copy Share Image
Authenticity seems like sort of a joke. Actually I believe it was the late comedian George Burns who said, "if you can… — Jeffrey Pfeffer Copy Share Image
The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it… — Jack Kemp Copy Share Image
Math-thinking, I would say, encourages flipping and substituting letters in words (in the novel, one of the boys double-majors in math and… — Mary Kay Zuravleff Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fine - I said huffily. - But I hope I'm at least allowed to fly around the corridors during lunch hour. Gabriel… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
Nazism: You have two cows. The Government shoots you and takes the cows. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Two mentally disturbed men decided they must go to school. They collected old books and went to sit under the tree pretending… — Newlove Copy Share Image
The best of my songs are more than just a joke. There's something else going on - a character, or it's not… — Randy Newman Copy Share Image
I don't want to be elected president to sit around and see gridlock just become so dominant that people literally decline in… — Jeb Bush Copy Share Image
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I had done an interview with 'Hello' magazine. In it, they asked me if I was going to marry Emily Blunt. Of… — Michael Buble Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
