The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Don't protest outside of a rich man's house in the daytime, you'll just scare the maid, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
