He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Thirteen at a table is unlucky only, when the hostess has only twelve chops. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
