If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell his size, with the result that frequently…” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/472/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_2679609.jpg)
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
