John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important,… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you…” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
