Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an…” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0f1/groucho-marx-788_1930s_he-may-talk-like-an-idiot-and-look-like_1140430.jpg)
![“[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A…” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/311/groucho-marx-788_change_mrs-teasdale-he-s-had-a-change-of-heart_1235981.jpg)
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you…” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
