I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
