I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless he purposely shut… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Intolerance is the ''Do Not Touch'' sign on something that cannot bear touching. We do not mind having our hair ruffled, but… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who doesn't care if I marry a man or a woman as long as I give you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I've fucked you, licked you, bound you, flogged you, and spanked you. Jesus, Lilly, how much more do you want to get… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
I've watched goldfish make babies, and ants execute earwigs. I've seen a fly deliver live young while having its head eaten by… — N.D. Wilson Copy Share Image
“Having our old Gran in the car was like having a cranky 'Tassie Tiger' sitting in the back. You never knew when… — Elizabeth M. Thompson Copy Share Image
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
Terence, this is stupid stuff: You eat your victuals fast enough; There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear, To see the rate… — A. E. Housman Copy Share Image
The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Only in America do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
“Loeser's favourite book in Blimk's shop, where he spent most of his afternoons, was still Dames! And how to Lay them. He… — Ned Beauman Copy Share Image
“It was the job of people like me to make up reasons, to spin a plausible yarn. And it’s amazing what people… — Michael Lewis Copy Share Image
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I must admit that I do have a particular soft spot for the character of the chameleon-trickster goddess Ris in Dreams of… — Vera Nazarian Copy Share Image
“The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have become super… — Sariah Wilson Copy Share Image
You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It's difficult to differentiate between a story that's humorous and clever and one that actually makes people laugh out loud. — Mick Foley Copy Share Image
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“We are a bed business, and a coffee-room business. We are not a general dining business, nor do we wish it. In… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway. 'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a… — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Cayl replies...I understand the human reproductive system, Agent Denning; I’m here to capture a killer, not indulge in these intrusive human senses.” — Tielle St. Clare Copy Share Image
The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been… — Brooks Atkinson Copy Share Image
I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Humorous writing is often thought of as substandard in comparison to work with a more dramatic or tragic intent. I don't know… — Patrick deWitt Copy Share Image
“You were listening at the door, Gigi!" "No, Grandmamma." "Yes, you had your ear to the keyhole. You must never listen at… — Collette Copy Share Image
You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Is that how you get propositioned at the court? 'Mylady, would you be so kind as to allow me to put my… — Erica Dakin Copy Share Image
“The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,” the inventor said. “The… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Perhaps he was merely being friendly. Perhaps he saw the look on my face and mistook it for something else. Really what… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
“Nancy Herman, my new gym partner and locker neighbor, puts her hand on my shoulder and whispers, "Don't worry April. I have… — Amy Holder Copy Share Image
