“...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
You only have to solve two problems when going to the moon: first, how to get there; and second, how to get… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back… — Mae West Copy Share Image
And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“A layer of fine powder coats his skin. “My lungs are turning to concrete,” Rob wheezes, hacking and spitting. “So are my… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“If you’ve never been in a men’s room, and have only set foot in the ladies’ room at most fine (and not… — Julia Kent Copy Share Image
I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my… — Macklemore Copy Share Image
“You’re thinking she doesn’t see your outfit, or the color of your shoes. What she does see is You! I think you… — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Asher taps his fingers on his lips and I catch Amy licking her own as she eyes his mouth. "What exactly are… — Jessica Sorensen Copy Share Image
“After reading some of my stories, I once had a friend say to me, "I'd love to spend five minutes in your… — Mark W Boyer Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
“I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
Shawn's (Shawn Weatherly - former beauty queen) acting ability is such that she could not convey the concept of falling if your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There's no such things as sweet as dream Well maybe if you live on it But you could live such a sweet… — Joshua Natad Copy Share Image
Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So throw me down, tie me up, and show… — Skye Eagleday Copy Share Image
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“If I had echolocation I could map out the terrain of ab muscles through sheer force of will. His cut body is… — Julia Kent Copy Share Image
It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to "get involved" in a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There are times when looking on the bright side takes a lot ot work. I'm taking a break from it tonight. I'll… — C.C. Alma Copy Share Image
“--he stopped and eyed Bill Corso--"if you choose to just sit here like a bored jungle gorilla, you will have to write… — A.S. King Copy Share Image
“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
The Olympic movement simply cannot allow the Russians to become estranged, because Russia is a vital part of the world sports community,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I was very responsible, and very mature. Travis says otherwise, but he’s not important right now. We’re focused on me.” — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people… — Richard P. Feynman Copy Share Image
“Well, Ben says you have to be married to get a girl pregnant. And me and Cindy are not married, so she… — Scylar Tyberius Copy Share Image
I like to think 'The God Delusion' is a humorous book. I think, actually, it's full of laughs. And people who describe… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I wanted to find my voice, so I sat in silence. I wanted joy, so I cried my heart open. I wanted… — Catherine Scott Copy Share Image
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry."… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“My dad had once told me, crimson-red deep in “the talk,” that with sons, all he had to worry about was one… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“Dr. Loveless: Dang these pine needles. Why can't a forest be decently carpeted? Wild Wild West (TV) Second Season: Night of the… — Michael Garrison Copy Share Image
