Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. — Alexandre Dumas Copy Share Image
“David: “How the hell did you get dressed so fast?” Renee: “How do you know I didn’t streak naked through the lobby… — John C. Stipa Copy Share Image
One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading… — John W. Gardner Copy Share Image
Before I walk a mile in another person's shoes I spray them with disinfectant. . . — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
My Mother's Day gift to you is not deleting the embarrassing comments you make on my Facebook Wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If God gave Abraham a ram to prevent his slaying Isaac, He might stick a donkey in the bush for me to… — N.L.B. Horton Copy Share Image
“Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Goresthorpe Grange is a feudal mansion - or so it was termed in the advertisement which originally brought it under my notice.… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Of course I can read", he said. "Jesus Christ." "Well, then, what are you trying to tell me? That you don't want… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus! — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Primitive societies, or social groupings, had shamans, and some of them even more recent in time. Shamans were tricksters. There was a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Much slower, I turned around to see Vlad examining his fingernails, as if his hands weren't still ablaze in the flames that… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
You cannot just quote from history and above all you cannot take it out of context, in however humorous a fashion .… — Gottfried Bohm Copy Share Image
“He was thirty-six years old, and six foot three. He spoke English to people and French to cats, and Latin to the… — Katherine Rundell Copy Share Image
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.) — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. — Neil Kinnock Copy Share Image
A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Artie: It's in here. Jim: Let's check this [box] first, Artie. Artie: Oh. [Finding a fake Sword of Kuniyoshi] Phony! How do… — Wild Wild West TV Copy Share Image
