“...the concept of marketing is almost as old as humanity itself...suffice it to say here that it took almost no time for… — BikeSnobNYC Copy Share Image
Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders,… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“wear flannel next to your skin, and never believe in eternal punishment.” — Julian Barnes Copy Share Image
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. — David Gerrold Copy Share Image
I do sometimes miss doing that lighter, more humorous work, and I find there's a heavier responsibility that goes along with a… — Alison Bechdel Copy Share Image
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“The poor man’s face twisted into a grimace and he pounded on the bar, protesting loudly. “Oh, you shush,” Kim demanded as… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
“A table for TONIGHT should certainly have been booked years before-perhaps, it was implied, by Richard's parents. A table for TONIGHT was… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who… — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Princess. By S. Morgenstern. It's a kids' classic. Tell him I'll quiz him on it when I'm back next week and that… — William Goldman Copy Share Image
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice;… — George Burns Copy Share Image
The ladies men admire, I've heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light, They'd rather stay at… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
All For One, And One For All Unfortunatly the Credo now days seems to be, every man for himself. — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If a wizard should take up residence in your garden, and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.” — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. — George Burns Copy Share Image
![“[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is…” quote by Robert Benchley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/36e/robert-benchley-2562_answering-machines_reviewing-the-new-york-city-telephone-di_1763236.jpg)
