God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ... The trade unions, under the European system,… — Henry Ward Beecher Copy Share Image
We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive,… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
Sometimes two people stay together for the sake of the kids - two kids who sat under a full moon and pledged… — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
“We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Ooooohh, I heard you had an STD, but I thought it was just a rumor. Does it really burn?" - Moose in… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I am committed to curbing the influence of money in our political system. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“Why in the name of God do you wear these ugly ass granny panties? I swear it looks like you could parachute… — Kathryn Vance-Perez Copy Share Image
I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and… — Hugh Prather Copy Share Image
“Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked in poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“He was staring hard, not at his wife and me but at his daughter watching us. In his cold pupil, in the… — Italo Calvino Copy Share Image
You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two.… — Charlaine Harris Copy Share Image
“When they see the light at the end of the tunnel, some people run towards it. I, however, run from it as… — Stephanie Tom Copy Share Image
“An academic definition of Lynchian might be that the term "refers to a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“May we do it again? She sounds remarkably bright and cheerful. 'And I didn't bleed. My mother said I would experience great… — Janet Mullany Copy Share Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“At least it's working out because Cheddar is sort of obsessed with me, or at least very interested, which in the world… — Holly Goldberg Sloan Copy Share Image
