It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both… — Kaye Chambers Copy Share Image
“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who… — Mari Donne Copy Share Image
I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Are you calling us pigs?’ Froi asked, watching as Rafuel winced for the tenth time at the formality of Froi’s Charyn.Rafuel thought… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“I have considered the impudent accusations of Mr Dawkins with exasperation at his lack of serious scholarship. He has apparently not read… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
“I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it… — Victoria Scott Copy Share Image
“A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one. Surprisingly… — Naruto Shippuden Copy Share Image
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice;… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Today was my forty-fifth birthday. Impending old age and a problem marriage were staring me in the face. Not a good place… — Karen Cantwell Copy Share Image
And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back… — Mae West Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, I think the best kind of poem is one in which there is an acute balance between what is humorous and… — N. Scott Momaday Copy Share Image
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece… — Axl Rose Copy Share Image
“Any idea why there is a giant penis made out of snow in our front yard?" Instead of an answer, I was… — K.C. Beaumont Copy Share Image
“...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
“Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
You only have to solve two problems when going to the moon: first, how to get there; and second, how to get… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours..and we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In my creative films, if there was something, some humorous moment that is lost to a non-Korean speaking audience, I'll be very… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother: the alternatives are all… — Ann Oakley Copy Share Image
And dilettantism is a humorous way to survive. Everybody understands you for it and everybody hates you for it. And not everybody… — Francesco Clemente Copy Share Image
“If you didn't already know, game show talent works fewer days a year than almost every profession, except maybe members of Congress.” — John Bennardo Copy Share Image
I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical. — Joel Salatin Copy Share Image
What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy… — Marie Clair Copy Share Image
There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus! — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“The ark was like a portable computer hard drive and Noah was a one-man Geek Squad, and he dumped God's most important… — BikeSnobNYC Copy Share Image
![“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” quote by J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6ec/j-k-rowling-86_humorous_ron-mimicking-hermione-it-s-levi-ooooh-s_1961549.jpg)
