“Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them. ― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I thought I was going to be known for my humor. But then I had an idea for a story, which was… — Jay Asher Copy Share Image
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I've heard Eric Clapner, ... I think it was a wonderful thing that Eric Clapner the musician did...So I think that's the… — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
“I decided right then and there to make a snickerdoodle perfume to wear, so that one day he would sniff me like… — Jessica Verday Copy Share Image
... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Poetry, I think, intensifies the reader's experience. If it's a humorous facet of the story, poetry makes it more exuberant. If it's… — Vikram Seth Copy Share Image
“This isn't sex." I blinked. "Oh. Then what is it?" "An emergency!" I started to argue and then thought twice about it.… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
“There is a safety mechanism in place [to ensure the perambulator doesn't turn back into a purse with a baby in it]… — Lev A.C. Rosen Copy Share Image
“Thanks,” I muttered and added under my breath, “Douchebag.” He laughed, deep and throaty. “Now that’s not very ladylike, Kittycat.” I whipped… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Buy potatoes,” he said. “Gotta hop.” Then he hung up. Of course. A cloud of fallout would threaten European food and water… — Michael Lewis Copy Share Image
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In London there was no home cooking worthy of the name. When you were in funds you ate out. But only the… — Clive James Copy Share Image
“I'm pretty well. So's the family, and so's the boys, except for a sort of rash as is a running through the… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace.… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“With a regrettable sigh he shook his head. "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out." "What the hell are you… — R.L. Mathewson Copy Share Image
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,… — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
“White? That's good. virginal. He'll be reminded this is a first for you and hopefully won't just impale you on his pork… — Carmen Jenner Copy Share Image
“A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my… — Quentin R. Bufogle Copy Share Image
“Holy hell," Shawn whispered, his eyes glued to Ziang's front. Particularly to what Ziang didn't have between his legs. "Dude, where's your… — M.A. Church Copy Share Image
Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I mean you've got a conservative and right-winged press presence with really nothing on the other end of the political spectrum. — Hillary Clinton Copy Share Image
“And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese” — Lucian Bane Copy Share Image
From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“They were Republicans, Nixon Republicans, and so didn't subscribe to the notion that laws are supposed to apply to all people equally.” — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“I feel sorry for Rick Astley, one day he is going to die and nobody will know about it for weeks because… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed… — Keith Richards Copy Share Image
Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations. — Charles Ghigna Copy Share Image
“Webster said, ''Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak… — Peter Matthiessen Copy Share Image
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We thought there was also something that was humorous but at the same time powerful and deep about naming the album, 'Modern… — Rostam Batmanglij Copy Share Image
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.(when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought… — Seymour Cray Copy Share Image
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
We have federal regulations and state laws that prohibit hunting ducks with more than three rounds. And yet it's legal to hunt… — Dianne Feinstein Copy Share Image
“Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
![“There is a safety mechanism in place [to ensure the perambulator doesn't turn back into a purse with a baby in it] : if anything weighing more than a pound and a half-about the weight of a three-volume novel-is in the carriage of the perambulator, it will not transform.” quote by Lev A.C. Rosen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/801/lev-a-c-rosen-43522_humorous_there-is-a-safety-mechanism-in-place-to_937560.jpg)
