“You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cocroach! Hermione, no! He's no worth it.” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“For God's sake put on your glasses, Sam. You're staring right at my boobs.” — Jillian Eaton Copy Share Image
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. — Guy Davenport Copy Share Image
As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Although life and I are not always in love with each other, we do remain on close speaking terms.” — Brian Randleas Harmony Copy Share Image
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Japan has a low crime rate, unless you count the fact that approximately every fifteen minutes the entire Cabinet gets indicted for… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon… — Charles Clayton Morrison Copy Share Image
“You knew what his opinion of you was, while he -- Well, 'twas ever thus. We know, always have. They don't. Not… — Nella Larsen Copy Share Image
“I glance down, and my eyes get big. "What?" He glances down, realizes why my eyes are big, and shrugs his shoulders.… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
“Leah" Olivia says quietly, "if you point at me again I'm going to break that manicured finger right off your hand. Now… — Tarryn Fisher Copy Share Image
Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I'm going to use them to track him down and thwart him." "Thwart?" Sarissa asked. "Thwart." I said. "To prevent someone from… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“The photographer was lost for riposte, obvious though it should have been; instead he turned to run. At least his mind did.… — James Herbert Copy Share Image
Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap on through 'opinions' and sometimes though ridicule, which is meant… — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
“Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying that… — Jonasson, Jonas Copy Share Image
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
“The lieutenant’s fooling around again with the telegraph girl at the station,” said the corporal, after he had gone. “He’s been running… — Jaroslav Hašek Copy Share Image
![“Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."” quote by Robin Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e40/robin-williams-682_air-travel_look-at-airport-security-now-what-starte_1190040.jpg)
