“You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both… — Kaye Chambers Copy Share Image
“And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment?” “Of course… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
When you are dealing with a child, keep all your wits about you, and sit on the floor. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Blowpipes and darts——heathen, I call it,” said Mrs. Mitchell. “You are right,” said Poirot, addressing her with a flattering air of being… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If the ties that bind ever do come loose If forever ever ends for you If that ring gets a little too… — The Band Perry Copy Share Image
After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn't involve two human beings. — Brad Shaw Copy Share Image
“Jim: By the way Artie. How are you going to escape? Artie: Oh, the usual way. Guile.. cunning...trickery. Wild Wild West Season… — Wild Wild West TV Copy Share Image
This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Selfish men make the best lovers. They're prepared to invest in the women's pleasures so that they can collect an even bigger… — J. G. Ballard Copy Share Image
Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home. Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic… — Peter Carey Copy Share Image
“The world economy would collapse if a significant number of people were to realize and then act on the realization that it… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error. — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Don't you squire me. There's something going on down here, something wrong; I can feel it in my boots and, believe me,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you lead a life of scholarship you can't be bothered with the humorous realities, you know, tits, that kind of thing. — Harold Pinter Copy Share Image
