I think people who make checklists are the most miserable and alone because they are looking for the perfect Entenmann's that is delicious and has no calories. Please, you want a brunette with a sense of humor, a doctorate and… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“I’m glad you’re gay,” she said solemnly, “because that way, if I can’t have you, no one can.” “Um, Rocher,” I mentioned, “like, a dude could have him.” This had never occurred to Rocher because she’d thought that Jate being… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Rocher was on the floor, crawling on her stomach toward Jate's feet. "I love you...," she kept repeating, in a demonic whisper. "I have… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I think that we should send all of the Killer Mediums to Afghanistan because al-Qaeda wouldn’t stand a chance.” — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Because there’s a clock attached to every beautiful woman. From the second she comes into her own, she begins to decline, because she begins… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people, as if even straight people are like that. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together, what could… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Most gay bashers will be wearing what gay people had on four years earlier - only in polyester with a Penney's label. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Nightlife is not for sissies, except of course for career sissies; an evening out requires at least a full day of minute preparation. .… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
![“I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that just be too weird?” quote by Paul Rudnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6e6/paul-rudnick-17393_answers_i-love-my-parents-but-what-if-i-could-re_671603.jpg)
