Television Quote by Paul Rudnick

So planning something big." "If this is the work of the Overtakers, we've never seen anything like it." "It is," a voice said behind…

— Ridley Pearson

“At a public urinal the presence of a neighbor delays my micturition.”

— Édouard Levé

“On the ground, Cash gave a signal, and all the guys lined up by the pool. In unison, they stripped off their shirts and…

— Kody Keplinger

“Kids in my history class pulled out their cell phones and turned them on. I did the same, and as we all lifted our…

— Laura McNeal

“Sometimes I wear sunglasses while I urinate, and pretend that my pee is a solar laser beam that will cut through my pants and…

— Jarod Kintz

“I love conducting double blind experiments with unsuspecting peeping Toms.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I…

— David Sedaris

“Well, there's two kinds of peeing...There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire. I'm all…

— Merrill Markoe

“Do you remember that scene in Airplane! where the guy with the flags is waving a jet into its gate, then someone asks him…

— Rebecca Flowers

“I recorded the ding-dong sound that shoplifting sensors at the doors of Wal-Mart make. Now I just stand at the exit and press play…

— Jarod Kintz

A peep, peep, peep, another peep, and that's it.

— Barry Davies

“Probing the corners of the room like a caged cat, fly caught in a jar, fart in an elevator.”

— Dennis Vickers