Laughter is the best medicine... but if you laugh for no reason, you need a medicine... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mentally I am ready for Christmas. Financially I am not ready for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gay marriage needs to be legalized, cause I would watch the shit out of some gay divorce court. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one... Just like any other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm discovering there are innumerable ways to package, promote and sell my humor, as long as I reserve a little for myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are only two emotions that belong in the saddle; one is a sense of humor and the other is patience. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When love feels like magic, it's called destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, it's called serendipity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me." "Why not?" "Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The eyes are windows to a man's soul. If you look into them and you can't see a thing, run like hell. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I like cars the way I like my men. I pick them up, grab the stick, and drive them hard down the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Como no sabía qué decir, le dije: -¿Me das tu teléfono? Ella me miró como si le acabara de proponer un maratón… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Fuck that.' is really a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word 'NO.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Marriages can survive without love, but they cannot survive without forgiveness, fortitude, and a good sense of humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“a quien en el cantón conocíamos como 'eligio', para no tener que decirle eligio de puta.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
