All pregnant woman give birth to a baby while my mother gave birth to a legend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A great man reigns over himself with kindness and humor, and therefore never feels the pain of rejection. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My life is like a romantic comedy except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The old, hard, humorous head was pulled in, and the thick tail slapped in under the shell, and when the cat grew… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When times are troubled, SMILE. When disaster threatens, LAUGH. When asked your age, LIE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“All men come to resemble their fathers. That isn’t a tragedy, but you need a hell of a sense of humour to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's doesn't matter how different your characters are. Just find a common goal! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anger and humor are like the left and right arm. They complement each other. Anger empowers the poor to declare their uncompromising… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most of things in life are easy to lose, and hard to gain. Unfortunately, this isn't in the case for weight... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a married guy talking to himself, he's just reliving an argument he's already lost. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is important to rely on your imagination for your sense of humor and your memory for your truths. Not the other… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Lampaxa Vorheridine? My Latin was never very good. What does that Translate to?" "Um, nothing. It wasn't named by an Earth scientist.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laziness is a disease created by humans but ironically it comes in a beautiful, addictive form that prisons you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how awkward would having a conversation with someone be if 'lol' didn't exist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Diet, Things just aren't going to work between us. It's not me, it's you. You're tasteless, boring and I cant stand… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... Nice ass! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A friend: What book haven't you read yet? Me: I'm not sure. I have read the Percy Jackson series or Mortal Instrument… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The cure for aids could be written somewhere in the Terms and Conditions, and we would never know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Turning on the TV: 10% to watch shows and 90% to use it as background noise. Just so I feel less lonely… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yeah, my boyfriend does this REAAAALLYY cute thing..where he doesn't exist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it really was Queen Elizabeth who demanded to see Falstaff in a comedy, then she showed herself a very perceptive critic.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Don't be afraid to make an ass of yourself. I do it all the time, and look what I got." (Spoken at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
