I went to see the Terminator movie the other night. Every time Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the screen this guy in front… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You know what would be better? Arnold… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today Arnold Schwarzenegger made another major announcement. He said his lieutenant governor will be Xena, Warrior Princess. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor on our program last night. My staff didn't know, Arnold's staff… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When we finally have this recall election in October, there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. And you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know, something like 90 people who have now filed to run for governor in this recall election. They say there could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
California Governor Gray Davis visited an elementary school here in Los Angeles where he taught a class. I don't want to say… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Governor Gray Davis has asked the California state Supreme Court to delay the October recall vote because he says that's not enough… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
