“Global warming is so serious that I’d advise you to not wear panties.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could keep a family of three warm for a lifetime, but global warming could do the same for the world… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love came out of exhaust pipes, like a penis that penetrated deep into one, then maybe the world could use more… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as scapegoats for global warming. But why blame the blankets? Wouldn’t it be more fun, and more accurate,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be employed to stop global warming, by using it to clog up the world’s smallest volcano. I would use… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep an iceberg warm. People are so selfish and want to stop global warming. Well, if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the moment someone told me about… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason that all the blankets in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
