If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you`re home alone and you hear a strange noise & you`re just like - _ - WTF! WHO`S THERE?! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when R.Kelly dies and God asks him : Are you a mountain,Are you a tall tree,are you really the… — Boat_Grandberry Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony.....the rattle snake died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up so many people that they have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, You don't have AIDS, do you? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I start remembering all the times you told me you loved me and all the moments you took my breath away. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're not satisfied with your life? Complain about it on the facebook, God must be subscribed to your updates. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I love rumors they always tell me something new about my self and my life.. that I neverr knew! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, all you need is a loaded Gun and some of your favorite assholes to shoot at. — Rajdeep Sarkar Copy Share Image
Wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?.... Do I really have nothing better to do! — Serenity Karma Copy Share Image
Every time I get poked, I laugh...((Feeling like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!)) :) — Shirley Ramos Copy Share Image
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With all these shit stains, shut your ass hole doesn't offend me at all — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just need a day off, from reality, just a day without people, problems, and all the bullshit that runs through my… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
