Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hey I just f%cked you, and this is crazy. The condom broke, so here's your baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can Take the Country of Of The Word but You cant take Country out Of the Girl — Victoria Jones Copy Share Image
Music, Sleep, Sex, and video games are the most effective stress relievers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have watched CSI,NCIS, Law&Order, Criminal minds. I can kill you 50 different ways & still make it look like an accident. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
A beautiful girl is always hated by the other girls around her for two reasons, jealousy and attraction of the boys towards… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say let's go half on a baby, but I'm like fuck that let's go half on these condoms... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station. — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Like My Status and will post on your wall of what kind of candy you remind me of. — Jacob Hadley Copy Share Image
I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Happy Birthday! Aww, you remembered my birthday?! NO, Facebook told me. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
If U don't hear from me in a few days, then Just Know Am having Brain Upgrade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
