Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brands your make-up, Crayola maybe? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Like a good neighbor STATE FARM is there, - WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT NIGGA ? — Jacob Hadley Copy Share Image
This bitch always make me confuse the fuck me eyes with the fuck you eyes... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk to hear my robot voice... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder how many miles I've scrolled my mouse wheel. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How do homeless people always seem to get the shopping cart that has all four good wheels? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best friends = They know how weird you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.. — Sachithra Copy Share Image
If ants were the size of humans, they would be able to run twice as fast as a Lamborghini. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
CELL PHONE VOLUME UP LAYING RIGHT BY YOUR PHONE STILL CHECKING TO SEE IF SOMEBODY TEXT OR CALLED... — Renneec Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook mobile, Please update your app and fix all the glitches. Your app has more issues than my last relationship. Sincerely,… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everybody out here getting pregnant and having babies that shit must be contagious — Bigboyalweezy Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when u run into a spider web and suddenly know kung fu — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh.. so your dating my ex? i ate a sandwhich earlier. do you want those leftovers too? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Imagine that self control you must have to work in a bubble rap factory! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
English teachers tend to put more thought in the books than the author did — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A man is a king, a king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches, still think ur a man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate people that use their Facebook relationship status for attention. — Megan O'Kane Copy Share Image
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
