Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 51

Oh the super bowl, is that a Pho restaurant?

— Kevin

When I die I want someone to continue uploading my quotes, just to freak people out :)

— Punkinhead Abhishek

My relationship is like an iPad; I don't have an iPad.

— Anonymous

Some people should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.

— Cuts And Scars

I've given up trying to escape from reality..they always find me anyway!..

— Anonymous

Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always start my diet on the same day. Tommorow!

— Nikhil Saluja

Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough.

— Nikhil Saluja

There will always be people out there that will bitch behind your back & judge you and your life. For some people…

— Nikhil Saluja

My boyfriend isn't allowed to watch E.T, why the fuck does he wanna watch his ex girlfriend find her way home.

— Anonymous

Nicki Minaj being a judge on American Idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice.

— Miley McCormick

When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week..

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like Tony the Tiger whenever I see breasts because They're more than good, They're great!!!

— Prince Shawn

Just when you think your life is bad, just remember some where some fat kid lost his Twinkie.. that was the last…

— Kevin McCarty

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my…

— Anonymous

My best friend told me about a great 80's porn site. I fucking hope he meant the 1980's.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers you on.

— Anonymous

Everyone makes mistakes, just like your parents did! ;o

— Zendy

Facebook helps me to connect with 99 enemies and 1 pal……

— Pratik Sharma

You'll have to speak up... I'm wearing a towel.

— Anonymous

Mean people suck, come over here and show me how mean you can be.

— Anonymous

Going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prossitute for a hug

— Zane Raymond

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

— Jon Lajoie

Stress here, stress there, stress everywhere.

— Joantonette Morano

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

— Anonymous

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

When I read a fashion magazine, I don't actually read it. I just scan..

— Anonymous

We used to live our life with Internet and now we live in Internet with our life

— Ritu Ghatourey

If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved.

— Anonymous

Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook!

— Desmond Fouche

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :) :o

— Mac

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide. lol.

— MoCHY

I used to sleep at night, but then I found facebook

— Ritu Ghatourey

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

— Anonymous

Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic

— Hussein Nishah

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...

— Anonymous

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja