When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a disorder where I stay up all night and eat ... Its called insom-nom-nom-nia — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday. — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Our life is like dancing training, at start we dont always know what we are doing but we keep moving till we… — Shubham Pal Copy Share Image
If you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a daughter, you have to worry… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
R.I.P LeBron James Ringless Jokes 2003-2012 But, Welcome Hairline Jokes 2003-FOREVER — Kiana JWilson Copy Share Image
Don't be alarmed if I call you a whore d'oeuvre...it just means you look tasty hoe! — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
That painful moment when the roof of your mouth gets stabbed by a Dorito. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Your ass is like a wallet without cash, jeans without pockets... flat and useless. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you wanna know something, ask me. Don't assume. That's how drama starts. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Even if women came with Terms & Conditions, you still wouldnt read them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
